Political Odds — Celebrities At The Democratic National Convention?
Most celebrities aren’t particularly bright. There are a few exceptions, but for the most part they’re of ‘dull normal’ intelligence or less. That makes them well suited for a keen interest in politics. Since most celebrities are Democrats because, well, because all of the other celebrities are, they’re very likely to show up at next week’s Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia. Thankfully, political partisanship is on the decline. For that matter, the influence of politics and government in general is on the decline because the world is being de-centralized. You won’t be able to tell it from the Democratic Convention, however, where throngs of party faithful will pretend to be excited about Hillary Clinton and pretend to be satisfied with the Presidency of Barack Obama.
Political partisans have no values or core beliefs–they just want their party to be in power. The Republicans and Democrats are identical in this regard. Any serious thinking person would have tapped out on Obama after his first term. A President running on the platform of ‘peace’ and ‘hope and change’ who did ‘none of the above’? Who’s main promises were ‘ending foreign wars’, ‘closing Gitmo’ and ‘rolling back Bush era civil liberties abuses’ and instead expanded the wars, did nothing with Gitmo and doubled down on surveilance and the rest of the pointless ‘war on terror’ security theater? Sadly, party apperatchiks were on Twitter not long ago praising Obama for ‘lowering gas prices, improving the economy and allowing gays to marry’. He had nothing to do with the first two and openly opposed same sex marriage. The Supreme Court happened to rule that way when he was in office. They had to lower the standards *that* much to make his Presidency a ‘success’.
Anyway, Hillary Clinton is setting the bar pretty low heading into office. The Wikilinks revelations of the past 48 hours that suggested that CNN runs their coverage past the Democratic National Committee before it airs and that the DNC and Team Clinton were actively conspiring to derail the Bernie Sanders campaign will be forgotten about. Especially by the celebrities who get to show up, wear horned rim glasses and appear thoughtful.
WHICH CELEBRITIES WILL SHOW UP AT THE DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL CONVENTION?
Rules: Celebrities must be in attendance live in Philadelphia and clearly shown or interviewed on one of the major US networks covering the event (CNN, Fox, MSNBC, C-SPAN, PBS, ABC, NBC, CBS). Appearances must be on the TV broadcast–live streaming does not qualify. Celebrities must be clearly identified visually or mentioned by name in the audio commentary
JON STEWART -500: The reigning clown prince of the Democratic Party. Used to meet with the Obama White House to plan his supposedly comedic take on the news. Has no self awareness and is still on the ‘Fox News hate’ bandwagon even though he’s essentially the same type of propaganda for the other side.
ED ASNER -300: The actor best known for his portrayal of ‘Lou Grant’ is 86 years old but it’s not like he has anything better to do.
MARTIN SHEEN -300: Martin Sheen–who was great in ‘Apocalypse Now’–thinks that he because played a President on the ‘West Wing’ that he has some political gravitas in real life.
WILL SMITH/JADA PINKETT SMITH -300: This is an ‘entry’ meaning that one bet gets ’em both. They’ll almost certainly be there canonizing Obama for all of the same things they supposedly hated Bush for–war, surveillance, deportations, police abuse etc.
SARAH SILVERMAN -150: Was a Bernie Sanders honk but will quickly jump on the Hillary bandwagon. Her comedy is no longer funny and is tedious and grating. She could take a career move on the left similar to Dennis Miller’s career move on the right.
ROSIE O’DONNELL +100: High profile Democrat with no discernible principles. Vague interest in ‘gun control’.
PATTON OSWALT +150: Sad listening to his pre-Obama comedy now since he blasts Bush for doing many of the same thing that Obama has done since. He’ll forget he ever said it and be all on board with Hillary.
WHOOPI GOLDBERG +150: Whoopi’s political affiliation is clear and she’ll likely be there.
ROB LOWE +300: Rob Lowe used to be a regular at the Democratic National Convention since it gave him the opportunity to wear horned rimmed glasses and pretend to be an ‘intellectual’. His infamous sex tape scandal–where he bedded down a girl that may or may not have been underage–happened at the 1988 Democratic Convention in Atlanta. He’s been making the media rounds talking about his sobriety and how that was a ‘wake up call’. Likely won’t want to open that can of worms by showing up here.
GEORGE CLOONEY +300: Closest thing to an ‘establishment Democrat’ in Hollywood. Has enough of an ethical streak that he might not want to associate himself with Hillary Clinton.
AMY SCHUMER: +450: Has the bad fortune of being related to unctuous Senator Chuck Schumer. Got roped into doing some anti-2nd amendment campaigning for her opportunistic relative. Just now getting past a ‘joke stealing’ scandal and has been keeping a low profile.